Forgiveness

There are people in your life who've come and gone

They let you down, you know they hurt your pride

You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on

You keep carryin' that anger; it'll eat you up inside

I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think its about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

- The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley

When you fail to forgive someone, they control you. Sometimes even from the grave. They have a hold on you from which you can escape with one simple act of letting go, but so many times we live in a sort of bondage because we have it backwards. We think forgiveness means letting them off the hook or letting them get away with something. We can't have that. So we punish them by holding onto bitterness. It takes a lot of energy to hold a grudge, but it's worth it, right? We make ourselves sick and ruin relationships and lose sleep, but we'll show them!

I've grown to see that forgiveness is a selfish act. God told me to do it because He knew how horrible holding a grudge was for me. Who am I really hurting when I have unforgiveness in my heart? Usually only myself and the people I'm closest to and love the most.

I'm not certain what it's all about, but I think it's at least partially about forgiveness. Even if, even if you don't love me anymore.

Hannah Montana - 3D

I, Stephen Bailey, being of sound and disposing mind and memory, did take my six year old daughter Rainey to see the Hannah Montana 3D movie. That's right, you read that correctly. Yes, that Hannah Montana.

Wait, let me start from the beginning. Rainey and I had big plans to celebrate Valantine's Day at our local Recreation Center where they were throwing a Father/Daughter dance. We had been looking forward to it for days. Rainey was stunning in her dress and cape her mother made for the occasion and I didn't look too shabby either in my best suit.

We arrived at the event along with other Father/Daughter couples and made our way to the gym that had been transformed into a beautiful ball room. Two ladies at the entrance made a fuss over how beautiful Rainey looked. "Look at you!" they exclaimed. "Are you ready for the ball?" they asked. And we were. We were indeed ready for the ball!

However, we had no tickets to the ball and the ball was sold out. The flyer said you could buy tickets at the door. The flyer didn't mention the possibility of the ball being sold out. The flyer misled and disappointed us.

We stood outside the ball. We stared at the beauty inside. We watched happy daughters escorted by proud fathers enter the ball. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach and then quickly lept into my throat. It repeated this exercise until I could gain my composure.

I called my wife for ideas. She had none. I told her I would pay any amount of money to make up for this. Maybe a shopping spree was in order. I had visions of buying her a pony. Perhaps we should go to the airport and fly to Paris for the week! Then I looked at my beautiful daughter who was waiting patiently for me to calm down.

She hugged me and suggested we go see a movie. I rushed her to the nearest theater where we arrived just in time for...you guessed it. $30 later, we were in our seats with 3D glasses on.

After the movie I suggested a fancy Italian Restaurant with live music. She opted for a change of clothes and dinner at her favorite spot, McDonalds. From there it was the ice cream shop and home to play with her webkinz.

The last thing she said to me when I put her to bed was, "I love you daddy. Today was the best day of my life."

I guess Hannah didn't lead her too far down the road of destruction.

I love you too Sweet Baby Girl. And it ranked pretty high on my best day list too.

Catching Up

January was a whirlwind of a month. Here are some highlights:

Okay, this was in December, but it was a highlight. We spent Christmas in the bay area with Steph's family. It was great!

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We had a wonderful New Years Eve with dear friends from Lake Highlands days. This years theme was James Bond. Get it? 007 for the end of 2007? Anyway, I resisted the temptation to attach 8 cats to myself and go as one of the more provocative Bond movie titles and simply painted my index finger gold instead.

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Emily turned 2 on the 18th of January. Her mom put together a wonderful Dora the Explorer party and Em wore herself out on a new mini trampoline and tri-cycle.

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I was honored to participate in the Fresno Zoe conference again this year. I cannot overstate the kindness of the people there. They are the definition of hospitality. It's always great to be with my Zoe friends and to make new ones as I did this year. The food is outstanding, the smiles and hugs are warm and those who attended my class participated with open minds and hearts. I was so uplifted! Thanks to everyone there for a wonderful weekend.

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