Monday, May 25, 2009

Random Thoughts on This Memorial Day

My emotional worlds are colliding this Memorial Day.


Connor (that's him in the brown stripes just days before the accident that took his life) has been gone for two years and the grief still sneaks up on us. I lost it last week during a Law & Order re-run of all things. I tear up when I hear about a kid getting their drivers permit because Connor should be taking drivers ed. this year and picking out an old truck to drive. We traveled to Midland on Friday and drove past the final resting place of his body as tears ran down my cheeks. I know it's not his final resting place, but it hurts just the same.

And yet...

We were in Midland for his brother Hutton's graduation. He's the one in the gown posing with just a few of his adoring cousins. Tears of great joy fill my eyes now and pride wells up in my heart as I consider the man Hutton has become. What a blessing to be able to truly celebrate his accomplishments, but more than that, to thank God for the obvious things He's doing in Hutton's life. He has felt pain more deeply and dealt with tragedy more personally than most, but he has learned to lean on God and modeled faith in ways to which I can only aspire.

Also...

Stephanie and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage today! Lucky 13 had its ups and downs but we held on to each other and realize how blessed we are even when difficult times come along. Steph's love, loyalty and tenacity for doing the right thing even when it's the most difficult thing are the reasons I love her. The girls and I couldn't be more richly blessed!


But...

I'm also mindful of those to whom this day is really dedicated; people who are remembering loved ones lost in long ago battles and in the wars that continue to rage on today. I pray for peace and that the devastation's wrought by war will only be known by my children's children from what they read in history books.
Grace and Peace to you today.

4 Comments:

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Stephen, for as long as I could remember, I had heard stories of this man who was one of the best uncles one could ever dream of. One that loved life and loved to laugh and sing. Loved his nephews and nieces like they were his very own. You were one that I heard so much about and yet never knew. I just want you to know, that Connor Man simply adored you. He always got so excited about going to see his uncle stephen. For the longest time it seemed it was just stephen and then it became stephanie, and he thought she was the underdog and loved her even more. No, that was a joke. He thought she was one of luckiest girls he knew. Just know, everyone knew how Connor felt about you. And still does. I love you and am praying. Lots of memories today.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Trisha said...

I'm with you, Stephen. So proud of Hutton and the rest of his family, still so overwhelmed by the thoughts of losing our Connor. And thankful too, for the men and women who willingly give their lives for us.

I'm glad I got to visit with you and Stephanie this weekend. I'll be praying for your family--for healing and vision to see the next steps. You are treasures in the Kingdom and I know God has you in His hands.

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger LeeAnn said...

Just now catching up on blogs. Love you and your family... Missing Connor and proud of Hutton and Caitlin...you were able to write my feelings for me. Thank you.

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger DebMc said...

Last weekend I was driving some lonesome road north of Sweetwater in the wee hours. I spent a portion of that long, dark highway time praying for your sister's family and you. I hope it helps in some way to know that other people haven't forgotten Conner or your pain.

(And, hey, during my blogging break, you took it up again. Yay!)

 

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