Off to See the Wizard

I begin this new year making the normal resolutions that I probably will not keep and asking the same kinds of questions most people ask after evaluating another year gone by. I plan to exercise more, eat better, lose a few pounds, save more money, follow my life long dream to become an Olympic speed walker or synchronized swimmer, yada, yada, yada.

I'm wondering about my place in this world. Am I in the right job? Should we move to the country? What lies ahead for my children this year? How will we ever afford to send kids to college or retire? You know the drill.

I'm also very curious and reflective about how I see myself as opposed to how others see me. My wife tells me I have everyone snowed and she should know, after all I conned her into marrying me. But don't we all feel like we are faking our way through sometimes? Pretending we know what we're doing and then secretly breathing a huge sigh of relief when things work out? Was Billy Shakespeare wrong about the world being a stage and all of us merely acting our way through life?

And so I'm left to wonder, pray and look for the answers where I've always escaped to search out the truths of life: Musical Theatre (Ha! You thought I was going to say the Bible didn't you? Well, that's a good place to look too). If the world is a stage, then just maybe the stage has some answers for the world. If not, at least it's entertaining.

I've been listening to the musical Wicked a lot lately. Great show, cleverly written and well sung. It's the story of Oz and the relationship between Glenda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West before they became the people we all know from the Wonderful Wizard movie and play. One number that really struck me was when the Wizard was explaining how he came to be so Wonderful. After all, as we know now, he was only playing a role. He explains to the Wicked Witch (in an attempt to persuade her to reform) that he just wanted to treat the citizens of Oz as a family and make their lives as good as he could. And she could change and be anyone she wanted to be too. "So you lied to them" the witch replies. And here is what the Wonderful Wizard says:

Where I'm from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it - "history."
A man's called a traitor - or liberator
A rich man's a thief - or philanthropist
Is one a crusader - or ruthless invader?
It's all in which label is able to persist
There are precious few at ease with moral ambiguities
So we act as though they don't exist

So, I know that I am a complicated mass of contradictions and so are you. But I also know that if I can convince you to see me a certain way, you will be satisfied with that and will not want to examine me further because that would lead to all sorts of messes. I do the same with you and we go on fooling each other and willingly being fooled.

It's just easier that way, right? Yet, unlike the Wizard, not everyone sees me the same way. This is where it really gets confusing. I'm different things to different people and in the process of keeping up with all of my roles I risk losing my true identity. Does this make any sense to anyone else?

I know, I know, my true identity is in Christ so I can give up acting and just live for Him. Easier said than done. What do I do in those moments on my faith journey when I'm not sure if He is anything more than a man behind a curtain; simply a Wonderful Wizard that I believe in because at least its something to believe in?

Just thought I'd start 2006 off with some light hearted questions and thoughts. I'm off to follow the yellow brick road. If I have the courage and the heart, maybe He will reveal wonderful things to me this year (this is where you fill in your own joke about me not having a brain).