The Know-It-All - T, U

Let me begin by saying I did not forget Mother's Day. It's just that I'm on a roll here with this Know-It-All stuff. The truth is, the vast majority of what I do know, I know because of my mother. She taught me to love reading and music and allowed me to participate in a myriad of diverse extra-curricular activities that served to educate me in ways the classroom experience simply could not. She taught me that a sense of humor coupled with a sense of timing will take you a long way in this life. For that I am truly thankful.

As for my wife, she wins the-greatest-mom-who-has-no-idea-she's-the-greatest-mom award. She amazes me with her energy and patience. Although far from the stereotype, in my mind, Stephanie is the definition of a homemaker. She makes our home a place where the girls and I like to be. Our daughters are truly blessed.

T

Taiping Rebellion - A Chinese upheaval in the mid-nineteenth century. This rebellion took place roughly the same time as our Civil War. An estimated 650,000 - 700,000 lives were lost in the Civil War. The Taiping Rebellion? 20,000,000 lives were lost. That's right million with an m. And here's the thing, I'd never even heard of the Taiping Rebellion. This makes me feel both ignorant and very small. It reminds me that there are billions of people on this earth who have no idea who I am, and yet I continue to think pretty highly of myself. Huh.

thinking - There are basically three types of intelligence: analytical (the ability to solve problems), creative (the ability to come up with new problems), and practical (the skill of incorporating solutions into real life). Although I see myself as a pretty creative person, I think I'm more practical than anything else. I'd like to have an equal balance of all three. Makes you think, doesn't it?

triumphal marches - The Roman triumph was only given to a general who killed at least 5,000 enemy troops. He rode in on a chariot wearing a special gold and purple tunic and carrying an ivory scepter. Here's the best part though: during the triumph, a slave held a crown above the generals head and repeatedly reminded him that he was a mortal man. I love that. That's the way it should be at all celebrity red carpet events, championship parades and professional athletic contract signings. Someone continually whispering in the celebrities ear, "You are not a god. You were blessed with good looks, good fortune and athleticism. That's it. You're one bad break from losing all of this, you putz! And by the way, nobody cares about your political views."

U

university - When universities began, teachers charged fees for each class. Therefore, it was in the teachers best interest to spice up their classes so as to appeal to the students. Interesting idea. Would it encourage better teaching or simply more entertaining teaching? Doesn't matter now anyway. In Texas, you simply teach to the TAKS test, but don't get me started on that.

urine - Dalmatian dogs and humans have very similar urine. They're the only two mammals to produce uric acid. Note to Dallas Maverick forward Josh Howard: step 1 - buy a Dalmatian, step 2 - collect urine samples, step 3 - smoke out during the off season and during the season. Glad to be of service Mr. Howard.